Popes, and History

Microstate number three, the Holy See, the smallest country in the world, the original home of Papa John’s. Its border with Italy is marked with crosses engraved on stones, and, fun fact, there are parts of the Vatican outside of the walls of the Vatican.

I went early in the morning to visit Saint Peter's Basilica and the Sistine Chapel, having downloaded Rick Steve's audioguide to keep me company. I gotta say, all those poor peoples money was put to great use here, it’s spectacular, corridors filled with paintings, floor to roof, old painted maps of medieval Rome and Italy, and so much gold. Who knew God was such a fan of gold? It’s crazy to imagine that the Pope, the Pontificus Maximus, is a continuation of the title that Julius Caesar famously had. I imagine the current pope paid less bribes than Caesar did to get the title.

Fun fact, when Caesar was Pontificus Maximus, a man called Claudius Pubilos was caught dressed as a woman hiding in Caesar’s home during a woman only ceremony, hoping to get it on with Caesar's wife. When under oath as a witness against Claudius Publio's sacrilege in court, he refused to identify him. The attorneys ask why he divorced his wife if he didn’t want to identify the man who was caught riding his wife, and Caesar responded: “The wife of Caesar should be above suspicion”. Current Pope scandals can’t really compare to transvestite cuckolding in the Pope's house.

From those ancient times to now, the weight of history that holds Rome is felt again in the Vatican. The largest, and probably most famous Basilica in the world, with it’s iconic obelisk and looping cloisters, is amazing. You can even get married in it (catholics only). Some of the most famous art works in the world are here, Raphael's room with “The School of Athens”, “The Liberation of Saint Peter”, and it culminates in Michelangelo's Sistine Chapel. It is extremely impressive, and no amount of Swiss Guards can stop the people taking photos. The only thing you wish, is that you could be there alone to really get the time and space to appreciate it. And this is just what tourists are shown. Who knows what wonders are in the Vatican Library, a modern day library of Alexandria?

As the head of the church, the Popes always had stories told about them. And I love a good story.

During the negotiations at the end of World War Two, in Tehran, a French diplomat suggested the Pope be brought in to negotiations, or asked about his opinion. Stalin, a man who believed power resides in might, asked: “The Pope? How many divisions does he have?”.

In those days, none. But Popes had had a lot of divisions in the past. In the 19th century the Pope controlled a good chunk of central Italy, from Rome and Lazio, to

Umbria, Marche, and the Romagna region around Bologna, Ferrara and Ravenna, making it roughly the size of Switzerland. In fact, it was the military Pope Julius the Second (Coincidently), who not only led his army in the conquest of Bologna, led armies against Venice, but helped drive the French out of Italy. A pope who still had time to get Michaelangelo to paint his ceilings, and Rafael his walls. Will the next pope be like him?